


Guilt

by SarahDeLioncourt



Category: Interview With the Vampire (1994), Vampire Chronicles - Anne Rice
Genre: Anger, Breaking Things, Fluffy Ending, Guilt, Louis always breaks Lestat's shit, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2016-12-15
Packaged: 2018-09-08 17:36:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8854630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SarahDeLioncourt/pseuds/SarahDeLioncourt
Summary: Louis feels guilt over the death of Paul, and is full of self-loathing. He vents his anger in an expensive way. Lestat is not pleased when he comes home. Set sometime after the plantation fire, but before Claudia.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by this quote from the book A Monster Calls: "You be as angry as you need to be.......And if you need to break things, then by God, you break them good and hard."

Lestat had gone out hunting, which Louis was quite grateful for. The rooms they shared were peaceful, and quiet. No yelling. No constant fighting. Louis could feel the thirst making his throat dry and giving him less energy than usual, but it wasn't to the point where he had to run out in search of rats or worse a human victim. He ignored it for now, choosing instead to sit down on the couch and read. He was enjoying his newest book, when he noticed something out of the corner of his eye. He saw a familiar figure sitting off to the side. His breath hitched in his throat. _It can't be,_ he thought. He turned his head ever so lightly, afraid that if he looked straight on the apparition would disappear. Louis couldn't believe it. He didn't dare hope to believe it. But it looked so similar. It looked just like-

_Paul._

Louis quickly got up from his seat to face the figure. But it was just a mirror. One of the new pieces of furniture Lestat had bought. Louis realized the light must have hit the mirror just right, making his reflection look like that of his dead brother's. He walked closer to the mirror. His hair color was quite similar to Paul's, but everything else was much different now. His eyes too intense. His skin too pale. And then there were his small, but quite noticeable fangs. "Monstrous," Louis whispered.

As he stared at himself, he came to realize that he was the very demon Paul would have preached against. "Murderer," he hissed, his thoughts turning dark. Why hadn't he listened to his brother? Why hadn't he given him a chance? If he had, things would have been different. _You were a murderer even before you became this disgusting thing, _he clenched his fists so hard that blood dripped. And what would his brother think of all the lives he had stolen since he was turned? All the people who died to quench his unending thirst. The people that Lestat said he would have to continue to kill in order to feel at peace.__

__Louis wanted to die. He wanted all this to end. He was convinced he deserved to suffer. So why couldn't he do it? Why couldn't he just kill himself? He was too afraid. He wanted it all to be over, but he didn't even have the nerve to end it all. His guilt and self-loathing reached its peak, and he slammed his hands against the mirror. Dozens of glass shards fell to the floor. But it wasn't enough._ _

__Louis ripped the ornate and beautiful frame off the wall. He smashed it hard against the floor, and didn't stop until it was a pile of splinters. His next target was a taxidermy owl covered by a pretty glass dome sitting on one of the end tables. He threw it to the floor, smashing the glass, and then stomped on the owl until it was nothing more than a pile of feathers. He could feel blood sweat dripping down his back. A small part of him knew he should stop, but he couldn't. He was too angry with himself._ _

__He grabbed one of the end tables, and threw it at the fireplace. He used the fire iron to smash the second. Next, he ripped the wooden legs off the couch, and cracked the thing down the middle. Not satisfied, Louis tore apart the cushions. With a sweep of his arm he knocked all the vases and trinkets Lestat had placed on the mantelpiece to the floor. He grabbed the painting above the mantel, and broke it over his knee._ _

__The only thing left was an intricately carved clock on the wall. He grabbed it and broke it in two with his bare hands. Louis let it fall to the floor, damaging it more so._ _

__Louis stood amongst the wreckage, panting hard. The small sitting room was completely ruined. There was nothing left to break, which meant nothing could distract him from horrible self-loathing hole in his chest. It seemed pathetic now; destroying everything. His shoulders began to shake, and bloody tears streamed down his cheeks. He let himself fall to his knees in the wreckage. He could feel glass and wood pieces piercing his legs, and warm blood trickling down his stockings. He didn't try to move. He didn't care. He just wrapped his arms around himself, and cried._ _

__Not much later, Louis heard the front door open. Lestat took a few steps in, and stopped. He smelt blood. More specifically, he smelt Louis' blood. He ran after the smell, and saw Louis sitting in a pile of debris that used to be his sitting room. Lestat clenched his fists. "Great! Just great! You burned down our last house, and now you're going to destroy this one! I never would have turned you if I knew how costly your little tantrums are!" Lestat was surprised that Louis had not tried to argue back. "You aren't satisfied with anything I give you! You ungrateful wretch!" Louis turned to face Lestat. His maker was shocked to see bloody tears flowing down his face, and an expression of utter pain. "Louis..."_ _

__"Lestat," Louis sobbed, "kill me. P-please kill me. Please, I can't stand it anymore."_ _

__Lestat's anger quickly washed away. "Louis, no. I can't."_ _

__"You can't or you won't?" Louis asked, looking desperate._ _

__Lestat didn't answer. Instead he walked over to the pile of wreckage, and tried to pull Louis out of it. Louis yanked his arm away, causing the debris to shift, creating more wounds on his legs. "Louis stop this! You're hurting yourself!" He tried to grab his fledgling again, but Louis evaded his grasp._ _

__"Don't you get it?! I deserve so much more than this pain! I killed him, Lestat! He's dead because of me! And I've killed so many others. I deserve to die!" Louis reached out and grabbed two pieces of sharp glass. He squeezed them hard, cutting deep lines in his palms._ _

__"Louis stop it!" Lestat grabbed Louis by the shoulders, and lifted him kicking and screaming out of the wreckage. He sat Louis down on his lap, and pried the glass out of his hands. Louis tried to grab a sharp piece of wood, but Lestat kicked it away. "Enough!" Lestat shouted. His tone of voice was so menacing, that Louis stopped struggling. "You don't deserve to die. And if you think I'll let you wander off and try and get yourself killed, you are very wrong, cheri."_ _

__"You can't stop me!" Louis said, trying to get out of Lestat's grip._ _

__Lestat laughed. "I'll tie you to my bed if I have to, Louis."_ _

__Louis, who was stunned by Lestat's words, said nothing for a moment. "You don't understand," he whispered, voice quivering._ _

__"No, cheri, you do not." Lestat began picking the small pieces of glass and wood from Louis' legs. His fledgling would grimace, but said nothing. "You blame yourself for things you had no hand in, and condemn yourself for doing that which keeps you alive. You don't deserve pain or death, and I will let neither come to you." He pulled the last piece of glass from Louis' legs, and kissed the top of his fledgling's head. A slight blush came to Louis' cheeks; he was not used to Lestat treating him this way. He never even would have guessed that these were Lestat's true feelings. He tried to open his mouth to argue against what Lestat had said, but his maker put a finger to his lips. "Hush now, mon cher." He kissed Louis' temple._ _

__Louis rested his head against Lestat's chest, a few more silent tears trickling down his cheeks. "Ah, ah, no more tears." He lifted Louis' chin up, and gave him a soft, sweet kiss. He pulled away, and wiped at Louis' eyes with a handkerchief. "Everything is fine, cheri." Lestat looked at the mess in front of him, and sighed. "Well, everything except for this room." Louis blushed, and looked down at the floor. "You're quite a mess as well," Lestat chided. Louis' face and neck were streaked red from his tears, his hands and sleeves were splattered with dry blood, and his stockings were full of holes and stained red. "You really don't know how to take care of yourself, Louis. Luckily, I'm here."_ _

__Lestat picked Louis up. On any other night Louis would have kicked, and fought, but tonight he was exhausted and it felt good to be held. He was carried to Lestat's room, and placed on his bed. Lestat left, and came back with a bowl of water and a cloth. He tried to reach out to clean his fledgling's face, but Louis pulled away. "I can do it myself."_ _

__Lestat held his chin in place. "I don't care." He gently washed Louis' face, then moved on to his neck, and hands. When Lestat had finished, Louis tried to get up, but was held in place by a hand on his shoulder. "Where do you think you're going?"_ _

__Louis rubbed at his eyes. "To my room. It's nearly dawn."_ _

__"Yes, but you're staying here with me." Louis looked confused. "After that little incident, I'm not leaving you alone any time soon. After all, you might try to hurt yourself, or find someone to kill you." He ran his thumb along Louis' cheek. "And I won't allow that." Lestat began undoing the buttons on Louis' vest._ _

__With a blush, Louis quickly pushed his hands away. "I can do th-"_ _

__Lestat kissed him, so he couldn't finish his sentence. He gently pushed Louis down to lie on the bed, and resumed unbuttoning his vest. Louis wouldn't look at Lestat, and his cheeks were flushed a beautiful pink. Lestat giggled. "You act as though I've never seen another man before, mon cher." He slipped Louis' arms out of the vest._ _

__"I've never been with another, another..." Louis let his sentence trail off, unable to say it._ _

__Lestat let his fingers trail down Louis' stomach. "Lucky me," he smirked. He rid Louis of his bloody shirt. "And this looked so fine on you too," he scolded. He ran his nimble hands down Louis' legs, and took off his shoes and stockings. He leaned over Louis, who no longer looked embarrassed, but was actually enjoying the touches. Lestat kissed him over and over, as he let Louis' pants slide down to the ground. "So beautiful, Louis. It almost makes up for all things you broke earlier." Louis gasped when he felt Lestat smack his backside. "Almost," Lestat laughed._ _

__"You're infuriating," Louis said with a glare._ _

__"Oh no," Lestat said while taking off his shirt and shoes, "you don't get to say anything after that little stunt you pulled." Unable to think of anything to say back to that, Louis simply huffed. His maker dressed him in a fresh pair of stockings, and a white lace shirt that just barely came down long enough to cover himself. "Hmm, perhaps I should get it hemmed." He tried lifting up the shirt, but Louis wouldn't let him._ _

__"Absolutely not," Louis growled. He tried to reach into Lestat's dresser to grab a pair of pants, but Lestat slapped his thigh and dragged him back into his lap. "Infuriating," Louis repeated._ _

__"Keep saying that, and I'll tie you down and punish you for all the damage you caused." Lestat threatened. Louis grumbled, but leaned back against Lestat's chest. Satisfied, Lestat grabbed his hairbrush, and ran it through Louis' hair to get rid of all the tangles. Louis closed his eyes, and leaned into Lestat's touch. His maker chuckled, and put the brush down. He pulled the sheets back, so Louis could crawl in. "Lie down, my love." Louis was surprised that they weren't going to be sleeping in Lestat's coffin, but was too tired to argue. As he made himself comfortable, Lestat covered the window with several blankets to keep the sunlight out. He then locked the door, and placed a chair under the handle._ _

__Lestat crawled in, and held his arms open. "Come here, cheri." Louis moved to lie in Lestat's arms, enjoying the warmth and the sound of his maker's heartbeat. He felt Lestat kiss his forehead. "Rest now, Louis. Don't think anymore about earlier. You are too hard on yourself."_ _

__"But-"_ _

__"Hush now, mon cher." Lestat cradled Louis to his chest, who despite disagreeing with his maker, said nothing. His only response was to pull Lestat closer. "Everything is fine, Louis. Don't stress yourself so much." He gave a small chuckle, even as he felt the death sleep's pull. "After all, it is getting quite expensive."_ _


End file.
